Florida Should Be Renamed The Snake State

Snakes aren’t my thing, so I’m staying out of Lakeland, Florida this week. That’s because it’s mating season for the Florida water snake, and groups of them have decided to gather at a local park to “get busy” together.
Lakeland Parks and Rec employees have taped off a large area of the park to keep humans from not only walking into a group of thirsty snakes but to also give the snakes privacy. Officials point out that the Florida water snake is important to the state’s ecosystem.
And while the Florida water snake isn’t venomous it will bite or smear voyeurs with a “foul-smelling musk” if they get too close.
Meanwhile, in Venice, Florida, a resident called the cops after finding an intruder in their bedroom.
According to the Police Department’s Facebook page, the culprit identified as “Mr. Pantherophis Guttatus,” “was briefly detained before ultimately being released on his own recognizance in a wooded area.”
The Department added that officers hope “Mr. Guttatus” will abide by the trespass warning.
Mr. Gattatus” was a rather large corn snake. They aren’t poisonous.
If there was a snake in my house, I wouldn’t have to involve the cops. The firefighters would be though, because I’d have to set my house on fire…