Most bands have something called a rider; basically it’s their list of “demands” or “wants” when they get to a venue. Some are pretty normal, like a certain brand of beer, towels, snacks, etc. But sometimes they get really bizarre.
Slayer once asked for 100 snow white goats for slaughter, a Halaal butcher to slaughter and cut up said goats, and freezer bags and coolers to put said goat meat in. Oh yeah, and they added 4 black yoga ball chairs to that list. That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard!
It got me thinking: if I were a HUGE rock star, what would I put on my rider? Here it is:
From the desk of Martin Q. Manager
To Whom It May Concern,
My client, Sadie Black, will be performing in your venue. Here is the list of required items:
Sadie Black’s Rider
- Several bags of Funyuns
- A big bag of Starburst
- A case of Arizona Green Tea
- 2 bottles of Gorget Vodka
- A super fuzzy blanket
- A pair of fleece Wonder Woman pajama pants
- Wonder Woman comic books
- The complete Friends series on Blu-Ray
- An old Gameboy that only has Tetris on it
- An otter tank with several otters
- An otter wrangler
You otter comply or my client will not perform.