This is So Florida I Can’t Stand It

Naked. Waffle House. Licking. Dancing. These words are not uncommon when you see a news article about Florida.

Here’s the headline: Florida woman drops pants, licks man, dances naked in Waffle House parking lot. This is exactly the type of headline I expect from Florida. Or Jersey.

38-year-old Freedom Ryder Zobrist was arrested on lewd and indecent exposure of sexual organs charges, as well as disorderly conduct, battery and assault.

A Waffle House employee asked her to leave because she was being ridiculous, but she wouldn’t go.

The employee then called the police after Freedom continued to cause problems, which finally made her run from the restaurant, leaving all of her stuff behind.

But she wasn’t done yet… she eventually came back to the Waffle House and verbally abused the employee.  Freedom also threatened to get a gun, shoot that employee in the face and then shoot all the employees and customers in the restaurant.

She then allegedly walked into the parking lot, pulled down her pants, exposing her private area, and started dancing around.

With her pants still down, she walked back up to the employee, attempted to grab his naughty bits and then licked both sides of his face. Hork.

A witness also said that Freedom blocked the employee’s vehicle inside the parking lot and danced naked in front of his car.

What are they putting in the sweet tea at the Waffle Houses in Florida? I don’t want any of that.