2020 is barely a week old and we’ve already seen a trove of stories starring Florida Man and – in this case – Florida Woman.
The latest involves 19-year-old Maguire Marie McLaughlin, who threatened to rob a Vero Beach McDonald’s after she didn’t get enough dipping sauce.
Police say McLaughlin became “irate” after she was told that extra sauce packets cost 25 cents each. She began cursing and threatening to get the sauce “by whatever means necessary”.
Officers say McLaughlin was slurring her speech and had alcohol on her breath when she was arrested. She now faces charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. That 25 cent packet of sauce is probably looking pretty good right about now…
Another Florida woman, perhaps wanting to tell her landlord how she truly felt, tossed a bucket of feces at her. But that’s only the start of the story.
When police arrived at the scene, Joanne Mercader was found covered in excrement, initially telling deputies the landlord did it. But they noted her version of events didn’t add up.
The 59-year-old admitted her original plan was to throw water at the unnamed landlord, but she got confused and instead flung the bucket of feces.
Heard on body camera video, a deputy points out, “There is poop everywhere,” while his supervisor adds, “It’s a really crappy situation.”
And this is why I will never be a landlord…