Sittin’ In a Tube, Freezin’ My Butt Off For The Fourth!

I talked all week about how the weather was iffy and I was worried we wouldn’t be able to float down the Saluda, but the weather gods came through! I got to sit my butt in a tube in the ice cold Saluda for about 7 hours on the Fourth of July, and then I got to stuff my face hole with some amazing food!

We got to the river about 11am, and our first bit of bad luck happened: our loyal floating cooler finally died. It gave us 4 good years and multiple river trips, but after years of abuse, it couldn’t take anymore. So we decided to throw it in a tube and give it one last trip down the river while it slowly deflated.

We got organized, handed out floats, and decided to hop in the river about 11:20. Well, as soon as my butt hit the tube, there was a bubbling noise coming from my undercarriage area. My tube had sprung a leak, so I had to quickly switch tubes before we floated too far away from the shore. Thankfully, we came prepared and brought 2 extra tubes.

We got underway about 11:30, but the river was not moving quickly. We also hit spots where the wind blew us up river, and not down. The trip typically takes us 4-5 hours, but on this hot holiday excursion, it took us close to 8 hours. We didn’t get off the river until about 7pm. Tired, hungry, sunburned, and clinging to life, me and my fellow river goers got off the river to seek food and showers.

We all congregated to my house after taking showers to eat massive amounts of food: pork butt, hamburgers, corn on the cob, avocado salad, potato salad, Guinness cheesecake, pineapple, watermelon, cupcakes, brownies, 7-layer bean dip, baked beans, and cole slaw. It was a feast and we have tons of leftovers!

Overall, it was a great, but exhausting, 4th of July!

Sittin’ in my tube enjoying the sunshine!


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