Gimme Some Captain Crunch Oops All Berries

I have a lot of feeling about this dude’s article. Probably because I am very passionate about the subject. It’s something that has been in my life for as long as I can remember. It was there for me when I was a kid, every morning, without fail. It’s something I turn to when I’m sad, hungry and for times when I need something comforting. What is this amazing thing in my life you ask? Cereal. I flippin’ love cereal.
The food columnist for the L.A. Times took time to put together the “official breakfast cereal power rankings: part 1.”
His rankings are based on which cereals produce the best taste and the best cereal milk to slurp on. Only sweet cereals were ranked so no Oat Bran will be found here. I already have issue with this. You can’t just base cereal on taste and milk flavor. What about crunchiness, how fast it gets soggy, dry flavor, etc.
Number 1 on HIS list was Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The columnist said, “CTC is sweet, spicy and has a decent amount of salt to give it complexity (if anything, I’d like a teeny bit more).” I don’t agree. I don’t like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Let me back up for a moment… He admits fully that he hates fruity cereals. So already he hates like 1/2 of all cereals. Also, this man is a monster: he HATES Lucky Charms. Who gave him the authority to put power rankings on cereal? I’m calling BS on him and his rankings.
The rest of the top 5 best cereals in the power rankings are Honey Nut Cheerios, Cocoa Puffs, Golden Grahams and Reese’s Puffs. I’ll give him Honey Nut Cheerios. They’re delightful and the milk does taste good after you eat it. But I’m not a fan of chocolate or cinnamon cereals, so his list doesn’t do it for me. Here’s where he and I differ: I would never give all cereals a power ranking, because I don’t like several types of cereals. So I don’t have the authority to make that call. He thinks he does. So much so that he published it online. Plus, this is apparently only part 1. What’s he going to do in part 2? Kill Tony the Tiger? I wouldn’t put it past him.

But since you asked, and clearly want to know, here are my top 5 cereals:

1. Captain Crunch Oops All Berries: you get the great flavor of the berries without those pesky cereal pillows as my kids call them. They tear up your mouth. The berries are the best part, so you just cut out the filler. When I was pregnant with my daughter, ALL I wanted was Oops All Berries. They were $2 a box at Walmart at the time, and I bought 10 boxes at a time, and they didn’t last long. At one point, my husband told me our daughter would be teal and purple if I didn’t stop eating them. I didn’t. She’s fine

2. Rice Krispies Treats Cereal: not just Rice Krispies… Rice Krispies with marshmallow flavor. They’re so good, especially when you get clusters of them… mmmm… They’re hard to find in stores, but I will tell you you can buy them through Amazon by the dozen. Boxes that is. I ordered a dozen boxes once. It was the best day ever.

3. Froot Loops: A staple since childhood, these taste delicious, they stay crunchy for a long time, and the milk tastes awesome afterwards. Always a crowd pleaser.

4. Strawberry Shredded Wheat: The biggest downfall to these is that they’re not good without milk. With the other three, you can grab a handful and munch on them dry. But any Shredded Wheat has to be put in milk. And then, let the deliciousness begin! Don’t let them get soggy though… gross.

5. Lucky Charms: Another childhood staple, which were raked through the coals by the LA Times guy. I love them. I eat all the oat pieces out first and leave the marshmallows for last. By then, they’re the perfect texture and then I just get mouthfuls of marshmallow. Also, you can buy bags of JUST the marshmallows on Amazon too. They’re knock-offs, but they’re really good if you want to add some more to your cereal or just eat them as is.